


Davey Gets His Way

by SnarkyBubble



Category: Newsies (1992), Newsies - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Birthday, Gen, I think I'm funny, M/M, Meta, Transphobia, and they were ROOMMATES, based on OG fan fiction from the 1990s, davey's birthday, newsies discourse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-30
Updated: 2019-01-30
Packaged: 2019-10-19 04:49:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17594921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnarkyBubble/pseuds/SnarkyBubble
Summary: Reader's Theatre on Davey's birthday.  Jack gets mad and tries to get even.  An unauthorized companion fic to Andrea's "Davey Gets Even," originally written in the 1990s. The original fic was hilarious but transphobic, so I tried to fix it. This is super meta, and I have a weird sense of humor.





	1. Prologue: Please?

**Author's Note:**

> Every now and then, a work of pure newsie genius-ness is created and can't be forgotten. "Davey Gets Even" by Andrea (who is Andrea? I'm not sure!) is one of those fics. I remember my friends and I laughing hysterically to it back in high school in the late '90s (oh my gosh. I just admitted my age), and let's face it: it's still hysterical. But times have changed and a major plot point is decidedly transphobic. The rest of it is still good stuff, so I tried to fix it while blatantly stealing (borrowing?) Andrea's story and inserting. I will make it clear what part is hers, and what part is mine. 
> 
> Because we all want to know what happens when our modern-day Alternative Universe Newsies friends get ahold of this piece of trash/lovliness.

 

 

 

The cake and ice cream is consumed, the presents are unwrapped, and everyone at the party is starting to feel a bit fuzzy around the heads from … well, from Crutchy's special punch. Among other things, Davey is now the proud owner of a Tamagotchi ("Wow, Itey. I didn't know they still made those…things…" Davey had said politely, if a bit puzzled.), a case of Australian beer, and tickets for him and Jack to see "Bare: A Pop Opera" (Hey, it's AU. It could happen). 

"So what do you wanna do now, Davey?" Jack asks lazily, his arm draped around David's shoulders. They're sitting on the couch. Their living room is filled with all of their friends, lounging on other couches or the floor. The whole energy in the room is lagging. No one looks like they want to move.

"I'd suggest we drink his beer, but I'm too tired to pop open a can," Dutchy whines. Specs snickers.

"Well, we could watch a movie," Jack suggests with a hopeful look. "I mean, we recently got the un-cut version of  _Little Woman_ and—"

"We are  _not_  watching that damn movie for the fourteenth time, Cowboy," Racetrack says. "I swear, you're such a ham."

Davey sits and watches his friends bickering, a small grin appearing on his face. "I know what we should do. Reader's Theatre!"

"OH, No," Skittery says with a shake of his head. "I swear, Dave. You are such a theatre geek."

"SO?" David says, getting up rushing into the other room. "I'll be right back," he calls over his shoulder.

Everyone looks at Jack. "Should we be worried?" Boots asks.

"How the heck should I know?"

"Well, he IS your 'roommate'…Or whatever it is you call yourselves." Boots reminds him with a grin. Jack just rolls his eyes. Like that ever meant he knew what was going on in that boy's head.

David comes back at that moment, waving a stack of stapled computer printouts.

"I got one for everyone!" he calls with a grin, and starts passing it out. More than one person wonders if he had planned this from the beginning.

"What? Oh, please, no, Davey!" Mush whines when he sees what is being passed out.

Several of the other guys have similar complaints. But none of the complaints are as loud as Jack Kelly's.

"Davey. You promised I'd never have to look at this piece of crap again," he whines. "You know I hate this story."

David gives Jack a pleading look, while everyone else averts their eyes. Gooey Alert. "Please Jack? It's my birthday. And this is my favorite story."

Jack shakes his head. "Any other story, and I'd be fine. What about that great Javid fic, "(Imagine a) brown leather wallet"? I thought THAT was your favorite story."

David shakes his head. "That one is YOUR favorite, Jack." He sticks his lip out slightly, giving Jack his best blue-eyed puppy dog look. "Please, Jacky? For me?"

Snoddy clears his throat, slightly uncomfortable by all the pleading and sweet-talking going on.

Snitch, on the other hand, says loudly, "Oh, geeze. Do we need to leave the room so you guys can settle this?"

That seems to push Jack over the edge, because with a dramatic roll of his eyes, he says, "fine. Fine." And with a glare at Davey, he adds, "Just don't ask me any more favors later, after everyone else has gone home."

David, way too happy to let an empty threat like that bother him, gives a little squeal of delight. "Now, we need a narrator. It's too bad Denton couldn't make it. He'd be perfect…"

"Yeah, too bad his invitation  _accidentally_ got lost in the mail," Jack mutters under his breath.

"Jack! Be nice," Davey pleads, another puppy-dog look in his direction. Jack sighs and closes his lips.

Kid Blink snickers. He knows what had happened to the invitation…

"Any volunteers to be a narrator?" Davey asks, looking around the room. "Boots? Itey? Swifty? You guys have pretty small parts…"

"Yeah, alright. I'll do it," Boots finally says after a moment of silence in the room. "I ain't afraid, or anything."

"Yay! Okay, now everyone, spread out… make a circle." Some of his friends grumble, but they oblige David nonetheless. "And if you've got a part, stand up, and act it out, okay?"

"Theatre geek," Skittery mutters again.

And the story begins.


	2. The Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys get down to reading "Davey Gets Even." Original fic is bold and italics, and the boys' actions and side comments (my words) are in regular font. Trigger Warning: Transphobic language. But I try to fix it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to cite my source for "Davey Gets Even", since I blatantly stole the story. However, as it was published in the 1990s, the author and the original posting of this story seem to both have disappeared into cyberspace somewhere. If you know the original author of this story, I'd love to get in touch with her! Help a pal out, will you? And hey, at least this story continues to live on!

Boots stands up from his place in the circle, and begins to read, Davey pantomiming the actions of the story:  
 _ **David Jacobs stepped into the bright daylight and pulled his brown cap further down over his curls to shade his eyes from the sun. His stomach rumbled hungrily. He glanced across Greeley Square towards the huge mounted clock. It read 12:45. He normally would have hurried his pace as he headed towards Tibby's, the restaurant where all of the newsies met for lunch every day. But lately David hadn't felt much like eating with the newsies...heck, lately he hadn't felt much like being around the newsies at all.**_  

**_It was all because of this damn Denton thing- Denton being Bryan Denton, the newspaper reporter who had covered the newsie strike not so long ago. During the strike, he and David had become good friends. Hell, David thought, it only made sense. All the rest of the newsies were nice enough guys, but even put all together they didn't have the brains of a cabbage._ **

A snort comes from somewhere in the room, but Boots ignores it and keeps reading:  
 ** _And fishing through their horrible "New Yawk" accents to figure out what they were saying was about as easy as bobbing for apples in tar...and about as much fun, too. At least with Denton he could carry on an intelligent conversation!_**

_**Of course, the newsies didn't see things that way. No, they had to be stupid and immature about it...David angrily kicked a stone across the street as he walked. They all made fun of him, winking and teasing and asking how things were going with "his man Denton." Couldn't they understand a simple friendship between two (manly) men? David grew increasingly infuriated as he got closer to Tibby's. They were probably talking about him right now...making stupid jokes about why he was late, where he'd been...He reached Tibby's and wrenched the door open, in a thoroughly rotten mood now. If anyone said anything to him about Denton today he'd...he'd...** _

Racetrack stands up, and with way too much expression and an over-abundant accent, reads:  
 _ **"Hey Davey! Whatsa matta? Ya looks tired...gotta start gettin' more sleep at night, I t'ink!"**  _With a laugh, he sits back down. He enjoys the first part of the story, where all the newsies rag on Davey.

Boots reads the narrator part:  
 ** _Racetrack winked at David and nudged Kid Blink with his left elbow. Blink stifled laughter._**  In real life, Blink rolled his eyes. Well, eye.

Skittery stands up, and with a monotone voice, reads:  
 _ **"Yeah, Davey, Race's right. Maybe you should skip lunch an' go home an' hit da gay...I mean, hay. Hit da hay."**_  He quickly sits back down.

Another snort is heard somewhere in the room. Boots reads the narrator part:  
 _ **There were scattered chuckles around the room. David glared at Skittery, currently being congratulated by Itey for his brilliant comment**._

Itey wrinkles his nose and gives Skittery a half-hearted wave of "congratulations" from across the room. This was so weird.

David has an exaggerated pout on his face, and stands waiting for the next person. When he doesn't speak, David looks down at his printout. "Jack," he murmurs from the side of his mouth. It's your turn, nimwad."

Jack heaves himself off the couch and says with surprising feeling:  
 _ **"Hey guys, cut it...it ain't funny."**_

Boots reads the narrator part:  
 _ **Jack piped up from the corner of the room. Finally! David thought. Someone with some sense! Jack had always been a good friend...the snickers subsided. Jack glanced up at David.**_

Davey acts like he's looking at Jack with exaggerated respect.

And Jack says his next part:  
 ** _"Don't mind 'em, Davey. Sit down...yer lunch is gettin' cold. I ordered yer favorite."_  **Jack pauses for Boots' narration.

Boots reads the narrator part:  
 _ **A slow smirk crept over Jack's face as he held up one of Tibby's jumbo hot dogs.**_

With an obvious grin, Jack yells:  
 _ **"A WEINER BETWEEN BUNS!"**_

Around the room there are a couple of chuckles.

"I don't get it," Itey says.

"Um, we'll tell you when you're older," Snitch promises, which causes Snitch, Skittery, and a couple of the other newsies to start laughing harder.

Boots, again, reads his bloody narrator part:  
 ** _The entire restaurant erupted into gales of laughter. Feet stamped and fists pounded tables._   _Boots fell out of his chair while holding his sides_.**

Boots stops speaking and pretends to fall over, laughing loudly and fakely. Then he calmly stands back up to continue reading: _  
 **Pie Eater squirted milk out of his nose and hit Snipeshooter square in the eyes, which only caused the newsies to laugh even harder.**_

Snipeshooter pretends to wipe milk off his face, smacking Pie Eater on the shoulder.

Boots reads: _  
 **David stood. He stared. He fumed. He seethed. And finally...he exploded**. _Boots stops reading and looks at David expectantly. He can't wait to see this.

David acts an incredible tantrum, stomping his feet as he yells at the top of his lungs: _  
 **"THAT'S IT! THAT'S IT! ALL OF YOU, SHUT UP! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!"**_

The room is quiet as everyone stares dumbly at Davey. He is way into this. Finally Boots reads his part:  
 _ **Silence fell and David's scream echoed.**_

Dutchy stands up and reads:  
 _ **"Geez, Davey, we was just kiddin'..."**_

Boots reads:  
 ** _David laughed cynically_.**

So David laughs cynically, then reads: _  
 **"Sure! Sure! Just kidding! I'll bet you were! But guess what...I'm not! Not anymore! It's not funny anymore! I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH BRYAN DENTON!"**_

"Yeah, right," Jack mutters under his breath, frowning ever so slightly

If David hears him, he doesn't let on. He just keeps reading: _  
 **"And you know what else? I'm tired of all you jerks acting so damn superior all the time...gossiping about me behind my back like I've got some kind of an evil secret! I don't!"**_

Specs stands and reads:  
 _ **"Okay, Davey, okay! Calm down."**_

And Davey really goes for the Oscar, hollering with all his acting skills:  
 ** _"I AM CALM!_ _You guys think I'm the one with the secrets? Hah! You don't even know what's going on under your own toes. Take Race, for example."_**

Race mutters, "oh boy…here it starts…" He stands up as Boots says the narrator part: _  
 **Race scowled at David.**_

Race reads, 'nervously' as the story suggests: ** _  
"Whaddaya mean?"_**

Boots reads:  
 _ **The other newsies exchanged glances and looked questioningly at David. David snickered.**_

David snickers in real life, and it's hard to tell if he's just following stage directions, or is really snickering. No, he's really snickering. He reads:  
 _ **"Sure, Race, you don't know what I mean. I just think all the other newsies would be interested to know what it is that actually attracts you to the track all the time."**_

Boots reads:  
 _ **David turned to face the other newsies.**_

David follows his directions, looking around the room now, to address the group of birthday party attenders.  
 _ **"I know what you all think...that Racetrack is just a harmless gambling addict with no money to spend. Get real! Think about it! We all know about those horsie magazines you keep hidden under your bunk at the Lodging House! And I bet all the guys would be REAL interested in hearing about that little encounter between you and "Third Time Lucky," wouldn't they, Race?"**_

There's a bit of laughter around the room as Racetrack shakes his head. "That's sick…" he says under his breath.

Boots reads:  
 _ **Racetrack said nothing, just turned red and sunk low in his seat. The newsies tried to stifle their laughter, but Specs in particular was unsuccessful. He let out a huge guffaw. David wheeled to face him.**_

With a groan, Specs attempts a 'guffaw.' More guys laugh as David turns to Specs and reads:  
 _ **"What's so funny, you four-eyed twit? You think I don't know about you? You're the one who makes all those midnight trips to Medda's place...which for those of you who hadn't figured it out, is really a whorehouse! That's right, it's a brothel! And Medda runs the whole thing...she's a tramp, a floozy, a jezebel! A hooker, a streetwalker, a lady of the night..."**_

"Specs! How could you?" Dutchy says with mock-horror. "With a WOMAN?" There's laughter.

Specs reads his line, muttering as it indicates:  
 _ **"Enough already, Davey. I t'ink dey gets da picture."**_

David's about to say his next line when Boots cuts him off. "Hang on, Davey. This part is funny!" David shrugs and waits as Boots reads:  
 ** _David smiled evilly_.**

There's more laughter, and David grins as evilly as he can muster before reading:  
 _ **"But I do know something you don't know, Specs. Twenty years ago, Medda Larkson gave birth to an illegitimate love child...a son she gave away."**_

Specs whispers:  
 _ **"No! Say it ain't so, Davey..."**_

And Davey reads with gusto:  
 _ **"Ha ha! It IS so! That boy was you, Specs! And neither of you knew it until now!"**_

Boots reads: _  
 **David doubled up with laughter.**_

So David does.

Then, finally getting into it, Specs reads with mock-horror, a hint of a sob in the back of his throat: ** _  
"Medda's me mudda?"_**

Boots reads:  
 ** _Specs asked, with tears sparkling in his eyes._**

Mush wrinkles his nose as he stands and reads:  
 _ **"Dat's...kinda gross, buddy."**_

Boots reads: _  
 **Mush glances with disdain at the crumpled form of Specs, who was now crying with his head upon the table.**_

David reads: **  
 _"Oh, sure, you're one to talk, Mush!"_**

He pauses for Boots to read:  
 ** _David was on a roll now. This was starting to feel really good!_**

Then David grins and reads the next part:  
 _ **"You muscle-bound freak! Look at you! You're fourteen years old and you have the physique of Arnold Schwartzenegger! That'd be really cool if it was natural...but it's not! You're a freakin' steroid addict!"**_

Mush rolls his eyes. "As if he doesn't want a piece of this…"

"I do!" Blink says.

Boots reads:  
 _ **David looked around the room at the newsies.**_

And David continues:  
 ** _"Yep, boys, you heard it here. Extry, extry, Mush is on the 'roids! Oh and Mush_ ,  _while I'm at it, do something about your hair. It looks like something my cat coughed up."_**

Mush touches hair self-consciously as several guys laugh. "Does it really, Blink?" he asks quietly, sitting back down.

"Nah, man. Don't worry about it," Blink insists, smacking him in the arm. Mush nods.

Boots reads:  
 _ **David's eyes scanned the crowd for his next victim. They landed on...**_

David looks around the room melodramatically as if really trying to decide who to pick on next, before settling his eyes on Spot.  
 _ **"Spot!"**_

Boots reads the next part, hiding a smile as Spot and David act out the narration:  
 ** _Spot gazed levelly at David, as if taunting him to try it. David just cackled._**

David reads: ** _  
"Hah! You think I'm afraid of you? You think anyone's afraid of you?"_**

Spot, acting out in all his glory, reads in an exaggerated Brooklyn accent:  
 _ **"Of course ev'ryone's afraida me. I'm Spot Conlon. I rules Brooklyn...I'm da most feahed newsie in New Yawk."**_

David briefly breaks character to laugh. Spot's acting is so funny. Then he gains control and reads:  
 _ **"Good one, Spot! Sure, yeah, EVERYONE'S afraid of the great Spot Conlon. WHATEVER! Look at you! You're a ninety-eight pound weakling...my little brother could beat the crap outta you with one fist tied behind his back! Eat a meal, for God's sake. Eat three...or better yet, hit Mush up for some of his magic muscle pills! No one is afraid of you...we just pretend so you won't feel like such a loser!"**_

With a pretend scoff, Spot reads: _ **  
"Sure, Davey, you'se all just pretendin', ain'tcha guys?"**_

Boots reads while Spot continues to act:  
 _ **He looked around the room for support, but no one would meet his gaze. All of a sudden everyone's shoes seemed REALLY interesting.**_

Spot says in a small, pitiful voice: **  
 _"Guys?"_**

Itey stands up slowly. "I don't want to say this…" he mutters, but he reads his line anyway:  
 _ **"Um...uh...yeah...Davey's right, Spot. We just did'n wanna hoit yer feelins..."**_

Spot gives Itey an encouraging grin and says in his normal voice, "Hey, good job, kid. An' don't worry about it. I can take a joke. I know that stuff's not true about me."

SURE, it's not true. A couple of David's guests exchange glances, hiding smiles behind their hands. Well, except for Skittery. He laughs loudly at Spot.

Boots rolls his eyes. "Quiet down, Skit. I'm gonna keep reading." Skittery sticks his tongue out at Boots, but stops laughing. Boots reads:  
 ** _David glanced towards the corner, where Skittery was having a grand old laugh at the whole spectacle._**

"See, I was just getting into character," Skittery mutters.

"No, you weren't!" Snitch says, laughing now. "You were laughing at Spot!"

"Hey, no laughing at Brooklyn!" Spot says, jutting out his chin toward Skittery and Snitch.

"AHEM," David says, before continuing to read, looking at Skittery:  
 _ **"What are you laughing at? You're not innocent! Why don't you tell everyone your business motto, Skittery? You know, 'For a buck I might?' That's right, boys, it's not just a cutesy song line for Skittery! It's a way of life! As matter of fact, I can't think of anything that you WOULDN'T do for a buck. Just ask any of your customers at Medda's place, where you moonlight as Erotic Elaine!"**_

Snitch erupts into loud giggles. "He's cute, too. You oughta see 'im in drag!"

"Yeah?" Kid Blink says, seemingly interested.

"Shaddup, Kid!" Mush says, jabbing him in the side.

Boots reads:  
 _ **Specs (who I bet everyone had forgotten about by now) raised his tearful face from his arms and looked at Skittery with wide eyes.**_

Specs reads: ** _  
"Elaine?"_**

Boots reads:  
 _ **Skittery just shrugged. Specs put his head back down on his arms and burst out into even louder sobs.**_

Skittery snorts, then does a little shrug. Specs, following Boots' directions to a certain extant, throws himself into Dutchy's arms and pretends to sob.

Boots continues with the narration:  
 _ **David was having so much fun he wasn't even sure who he should pick next. He danced around the room humming to himself.**_

David dances around inside the circle, singing:  
 _ **"Eenie, meenie, minie, moe..."**_

Boots reads:  
 _ **His eyes jumped from newsie to newsie. He had dirt on all of them! He rubbed his hands together with the sheer glee of it all. So many newsies, so little time! He couldn't think of the last time he had had so much fun! He started blurting out names at random.**_

David grins and starts pointing at his friends, shouting out things:  
 _ **"Snipeshooter...you pick your nose and eat it!"**_

Snipeshooter sticks out his tongue. "Ew."

David reads: _  
" **And is anyone wondering who always makes that stink in the bathroom and never claims responsibility? It's Swifty and his bowel problem!"**_

Swifty sticks out his tongue next. "DOUBLE ew!"

David reads:  
 _" **Dutchy is a Nazi...and Snoddy is a Communist! Pie Eater, Itey, and Ten Pin? They invented country music! Bumlets has lice...Crutchy IS fakin' it...Boots is just plain irritating...and Kid Blink is an alien! Have a look!"**_

Boots, still shaking his head at the jab towards him, reads:  
 _ **With this, David pulled aside Blink's eyepatch.**_

David pulls up Blink's eye patch to reveal his blind eye.

Boots reads:  
 ** _Instead of a gaping eye socket (which would have been gross enough to have to look at) a slimy green tendril shot from the hole. Blink froze. He looked nervously around him. Then...his head exploded! Newsies were showered with fragments of Blink-brain and an oozing green creature slithered from what was left of Blink's neck._**

The room erupts into laughter as Blink says his line in a robotic, squeaky voice:  
 _ **"Zog to mothership...Zog to mothership...Mission aborted. Repeat...mission aborted! Beam me up! Drat...foiled again! We will return to take over your planet. You will be our slaves. Live in fear until that day..."**_

Boots reads:  
 _ **The creature hissed at all the thoroughly stunned newsies, then disappeared in a poof of smoke.**_

"You make a hot Alien, Blink," Mush says, tipping his eye patch back down over his blind eye. Blink smirks.

"Guys, shuddup," Boots says, then continues to read:  
 _ **David didn't even notice. He was just having waaaaay too much fun. He started looking around the room for anyone he had missed. It was then that he spied Jack, still in the corner, trying to appear as unobtrusive as possible while hiding behind Snoddy. David smiled evilly.**_

Jack sighs. Here it comes…the worst part of the whole bloody story.

David dances over to where Jack is slouching on the couch and reads:  
 _ **"Why, Jack, you didn't think I would forget you, did you? I saved the best for last! How about telling the boys why you were in such a tizzy to get to Santa Fe? Huh?"**_

Boots reads, and Jack doesn't even have to act. He's already doing exactly what the story says:  
 _J **ack remained silent, and just glared at David from under knit eyebrows.**_

David giggles, then reads in a sing-songy voice:  
 _ **"Very well then. I'll just tell them myself. You see guys, Santa Fe is the location of a very special medical clinic...one that conducts one particular kind of surgery. Seems that old Jacky-boy here wasn't quite born with all his gear, and that he was all set to go to Santa Fe to get a...WEINER!"**_

The room is silent as Jack sits, frowning. Davey looks down at the story and his lips move as if he is re-reading what he just said aloud. "Wait... That's a terrible thing to say!" Davey protests.

"I tried to tell you, Davey," Jack replies. No one else says anything, so Boots continues to read:

_**David waved the remains of his now cold, shriveled hot dog in the air for all to see. He laughed so hard he ran out of breath, and then gasping for breath turned once again to Jack.** _

Except Davey isn't laughing. "This isn't even funny..." Several of the newsies looked at each other in discomfort. Crutchy, who hasn't even had a speaking line, looks mortified. Davey gives him an apologetic frown, feeling mortified himself

"Just finish it off, Davey. Put the story out of its misery," Jack says. 

David looks back down at his paper and in a quiet voice, says:  
 _ **"Whaddaya have to say for yourself now, Jack? Or should I say...Jacqueline?"**_

Boots reads:  
 _ **Even the rest of the newsies who had been taunted earlier thought that this was funny. They all broke up into raucous laughter. Some started rolling on the floor. Some stamped their feet and some slapped the table. Jack simply seethed in the corner.**_

The entire room is silent. No one laughs. 

Boots finally musters:  
 _" **David couldn't think of a better ending if he tried. He walked to the door of Tibby's and pulled it open. He strutted down the street away from Tibby's. As he rounded the corner, he could still hear gales of laughter coming from the restaurant. He could even hear Jack (oops...Jacqueline)."**_

Everyone in the room looks at Jack expectantly. With a deep sigh, he reads, completely void of emotion: ** _  
"It ain't funny, guys, really it ain't. Just imagine if you had no…"_**

Jack stops reading and Davey says, "Jack... you can stop there."

But Jack closes his eyes and quickly says his last sentence:  
 _ **"Just imagine if you had no thingy."**_

"I toldja you didn't have to read it, Jacky," Davey says. "I didn't know that was how it ended. I must have forgotten. Besides, you definitely have a...a thingy." 

"How does he know?" Itey asks.

"Wait! Wait guys!" Boots yells. "Lemme finish!" He reads:  
" _ **David smiled contentedly to himself as he settled his hat once again upon his head. It was a beautiful day. The (manly) End."**_

The room breaks into applause as everyone…well, almost everyone, congratulates each other on a performance well done. They had gotten through it. And for the most part, it was amusing.


	3. Epilogue: Thank You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A surprise guest to Davey's birthday party with a surprise present for Davey might just be too much for Jack. But It's all okay in the end.

Everyone's energy is rejuvenated after the Reader's Theatre, so David heads to the kitchen to grab some more bags of chips and some beer out of the fridge. While there, he hears the front doorbell ring but before he can run out to answer it, he hears it open.

"Denton," Jack's voice says.

"Crap!" David mutters under his breath. He rushes out to the living room, to try to intercept the meeting of his two friends. He has this mental image of Jack holding Denton in a headlock…

He gets to the door, and there's Jack, shaking Denton's hand cordially.

"So sorry you didn't hear about the party," Jack says with a straight face. "Better late than never, I guess."

Blink snorts slightly, but no one seems to notice. They're all staring at Denton, wondering how he'll respond to the slight.

But Denton's just grinning it up as if he didn't realize that Jack had purposely excluded him. He gives a little wave to Davey, handing him a present.

"Oh, thanks," Davey says, opening it up to find a really expensive fountain pen in a leather case with his initials on it.

A couple of guys whistle at the gift. But Jack has another response.

"Gee, Davey. That sure is nice of Denton to get you such a nice, sophisticated pen. And such a mature, thoughtful, intelligent pen it is, too," he says.

Davey looks at Jack with slight confusion, but shrugs. Jack looks genuine. "Yeah. It's great," Davey says, giving Denton a thankful smile. "I appreciate it."

"Yeah," Jack continues, before Denton has a chance to respond. "He DOES appreciate it. And you wanna know why? We just found out that MY pen…well apparently it ain't in working order. Must be frustrating, 'rooming' with a pen-less cowboy, eh, Davey?"

David's eyes opened wide as he realized what Jack was saying. He briefly considers gouging out Jack's eyes with the pen. Erm…with his new pen, that is. Something to divert attention from Jack's words.

But Davey takes no such action, so Jack just keeps talking. "This, here…this is a real thoughtful gift, Denton. Now Davey here won't have to worry about not having a pen around. I mean, when you're not around to let him borrow your pen, that is."

"ENOUGH!" Davey shouts at Jack. "Enough, enough, ENOUGH!"

Jack feigns a bewildered smile. "What?

"Jack! Your 'pen'," David says, using air-quotes with vehemence, "works JUST FINE. At least, it did last night."

Jack flushes but it's finally his turn to grin evilly. "You know it, Davey."

Snitch snorts. Dutchy smirks. Race wrinkles his nose.

Itey's eyebrows furrow. "Well, but that's okay, right? You can never have too many pens around the house."

"The boy is right!" Denton says, nodding his head eagerly. "That's what I always say!"

Jack and David look at each other, slightly horrified. Suddenly, with Denton talking, things seem a bit out of hand.

David decides to take control of the situation. He takes ahold of Jack's hand and in a melodramatic voice says, "I promise to NEVER borrow another guy's pen without your consent."

Jack squeezes his hand and says, "And I promise…not to drink all of your Australian beer."

"Jack!" Davey protests.

"Fine! I promise to stop teasing you about—" he glances at Denton slightly. "—pens. Other guys' pens. But you gotta promise to burn that story!" Jack adds as an afterthought.

"Nope!" Davey says with a teasing grin. "But I'll definitely be fixing it. Something to do with your perfectly-working pen."

"Well, thanks for that. Maybe you want to de-inkify me later?" Jack asks with an innocent look on his face.

"YES! That's it EXACTLY!" Davey replies, laughing. Jack grins back.

"And we are officially done here. I think we're going home now," Racetrack says, looking around the living room at the rest of the guys. "Right?"

"No question, there," Snoddy replies, a horrified look on his face.

"We're leaving already? Can't we watch  _Little Women?_ " Itey asks.

"NO!" everyone shouts.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there you have it. Andrea's fic corrupted me when I was younger, and now that I am older, I have vengefully corrupted it back. Special thanks to Locket for the idea of Denton's gift back when I originally wrote this over ten years ago, though I'm afraid it was my idea to corrupt the meaning. And now, Locket has since passed away. Remembering my friend as I re-post this. She laughed, and I hope you did too.


End file.
